ASSUMING makes an ASS out of U and ME
by anthropomorphychan
Summary: "… and so Gai-sensei, Lee and I have agreed that Tenten would not be appropriate for this mission and would like to request Yamanaka Ino as her replacement."    Her eyes widened at the implication of what she heard before they narrowed into angry slits.


**Title: **ASSUMING makes an ASS out of U and ME

**Genre: **Humour/Romance

**Summary: **

"… and so Gai-sensei, Lee and I have agreed that Tenten would not be appropriate for this mission and would like to request Yamanaka Ino as her replacement."

Her eyes widened at the implication of what she heard before they narrowed into angry slits. She took a few short sharp intakes of air before letting it all out in a steady exhale. She was ready. And boy, were they going to hear from her.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it … but I can very well dream I did. :P

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><p><strong>ASSUMING makes an ASS out of U and ME<br>**_Anthropomorphichybrid_

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She was late.

The moment she felt the beginnings of a gurgle deep in the pit of her stomach, she knew that she had lost track of time completely and was now running late for the team meeting scheduled with the Hokage at midday. The audible growl that occurred precisely three point two seconds later only confirmed it.

She let the kunai fly with a deft flick from her left hand before groaning into her now-free hands.

_Thunk._

The sound of metal making contact and digging itself deeply into old, hard wood echoed far too loudly in the empty field.

It was now half past twelve.

Of this, she was certain for her stomach has never lied – much to her teammates amusement and her chagrin.

'Shit,' she swore uncharacteristically, her eyes flitting with indecision for a miniscule of a second before deciding to quickly return her weapons to her large, hefty scroll.

It was always a tough choice for her whether to just run for it, or pack everything up. She should probably ensure the well being of her weapons (as well as that of her wallet) since those damned weapons are so bloody expensive. But this would be done at the risk engaging the wrath of Gai-sensei, both her teammates (consisting of mostly tear-stained faces at her depleting youthfulness and the odd disappointing stare from her one and only sane teammate) and Tsunade-sama (whose reaction is normally far too erratic to really get a good estimation of what could happen to her). On the other hand, she _could_ leave her weapons scattered on the forest floor in the off chance she might make it to the meeting on time (or at least, not _as_ late). She rationalises though that, in reality, only her team ever trained in those training grounds as years of endless 'KABOOMS' in that part of the forest as well as the shouts of 'KAITEN', 'YOUTH' and not to mention the rather erratic and largely uncommon weather patterns in that area – have scared off many civilians and potential thieves from coming too close lest the "curse" of the Youthful Woods result in their end – and so the chances of her weapons getting stolen were actually terribly slim.

In most cases however, her love and devotion to each of her weapons far outweighed any consequences brought on by disappointed teammates and her idol.

With the _poofing_ sound of the last kunai returning to its place, Tenten soon left, leaving only dust and leaves in her wake.

As soon as she saw the Hokage's office she slowed, her feet hardly making a sound as she inched closer to the door.

The door was cracked ajar, a sliver of sunlight escaping from the room as well as Neji's clear baritone.

"… and she is a very capable kunoichi indeed but …"

Tenten edged closer, curiosity in her eyes.

"Yes, yes I understand Tsunade-sama. But I must have you understand also that Tenten is not suited for this sort of mission at all."

She froze; hurt now replacing the initial curiosity.

"… and so Gai-sensei, Lee and I have agreed that Tenten would not be appropriate for this mission and would like to request Yamanaka Ino as her replacement."

Her eyes widened at the implication of what she heard before they narrowed into angry slits. She took a few short sharp intakes of air before letting it all out in a steady exhale. She was ready. And boy, were they going to hear from her.

_Knock. Knock._

"It's me Tenten, may I please come in."

There was a brief pause before the Hokage replied. "Come in and close the door behind you."

Tenten acceded and quickly stepped into the room. A quick glance told her that Neji had realised she had heard him but was not in the least bit contrite.

'_Everything normal in that department,' she thought to herself quietly, though still pissed to say the least._

But what surprised her were Lee and Gai's faces – she would've at least thought those two to be capable of feeling guilt, but neither displayed a look other than their usual goofy selves.

She looked back at the Hokage and apologised for her tardiness but it seemed like the Hokage was in a good mood. Her apologies were accepted without unnecessary violence. They were back in business.

Tsunade looked at Tenten. "I'm assuming you had heard a bit of that conversation?"

"Hai, Tsunade-sama."

"Very well. Then do you have any objections to having Ino replace you in the team for this mission?"

"Yes, I do."

"That's great then I'll see you … w-wait, WHAT?"

Tenten took a deep breath and looked Tsunade square in the eye.

"I may not be the most feminine of kunoichis nor the most skilled in the art of seduction but I will be damned if I let my own team decide what I can or cannot do. I have gone through the same trainings, have been taught by the same teachers and have gone through enough kunoichi missions to be able to say that I know my worth. I have lived already for twenty-one years, nine years as a kunoichi and five years doing kunoichi work and I know by now that I am a capable kunoichi. As I have not gone on as many seduction mission with my team as I have with just myself or another team, I believe that I can justly say that my team does not know me well enough as a _kunoichi _to be able to judge my real abilities in _that _department."

Her team looked at her with open shock.

Tsunade looked at Tenten with barely kept amusement. "And how much of our conversation were you able to hear?"

"Enough to understand that my abilities as a functioning _kunoichi _is being questioned by my own team," Tenten retorted hotly, irritated by Tsunade's obvious enjoyment and not so obvious reason for doing so.

"B-but Tenten-san …" Lee began.

Tsunade lifted up a hand and bade Lee to stop.

"No Lee, she is correct. She is a capable kunoichi and she would certainly be the best judge of her own abilities. Hyuga, you are the Captain for this mission. Here are the necessary papers you need for this case and I want you to debrief Tenten with regards to what she will have to undertake. You leave tomorrow at sun down. Any questions?"

No one made a move.

"Good." Tsunade smirked, "Should there be any changes you'd like to make with regards to the mission, know that it's going to cost you if it's not sorted before midday tomorrow."

"Oh and by the way, I'll be drinking tonight so I probably won't be up till after midday tomorrow – and I _hate _getting woken up when I have a hangover." She finished, her lips curved in a maniacal grin.

Tenten blinked.

"Now off you go, shoo."

Team Gai bowed and exited quickly, not wanting to disturb the seemingly disturbed Hokage any further.

They walked in silence until they turned the first corner.

Neji stopped then cleared his throat. "Here are the files. Take it. Read it. And we'll discuss the uh … more _sensitive _details of this mission at out training grounds at five sharp this evening."

After having successfully passed the folders, Neji was about to make his escape when Tenten rounded on her team, "I will have you know that my record as a kunoichi working in that department is not that far off Ino's. How dare you question my skills?"

All three of her teammates gave each other fleeting looks – a look Tenten couldn't decipher for the life of her but just angered her even more.

"And you," she glared at Neji, poking him in the chest, "I know I'm not as attractive as Ino but did you have to rub it in my face? You, my own best friend – how could you sell me out? And to my idol at that!"

Neji's face, while not displaying the guilty look she was after, lost its impassiveness for a brief moment and was replaced by – dare she say, a rather flustered and insecure look?

She paused her prodding, confused by the reactions she was getting.

Neji sighed, and gently grabbed her offending hand, encasing it in his own.

"Look, I'm sorry. We – well, I thought that you were … well … that your preferences were towards … ugh … that you would rather not partake in _that _sort of missions and had presumed, without your consent, that you would be far better off doing a mission more to your liking. It's not that we don't think you're a capable kunoichi – because we know you are brilliant one."

Lee stepped in and held Tenten's unoccupied hand in his, "That is right our youthful flower. We believe in you and you should know that we will be with you, supporting you right throughout this mission. And of course, even after the mission."

"We should never have assumed what your preferences are. You will always be our precious and beautiful flower. Nothing has changed even with this new knowledge. Worry not, we respect you the way you are." Gai added.

Tenten smiled, "It's alright, I should've know you guys only meant well. I'm sorry for making such a fuss. I'm glad to have you guys as my friends, no, as my family."

They smiled at each other and shared a hug.

"We will see you later then oh youthful flower," Lee waved energetically.

"And may your blooming youth heal all the broken hearts that have been broken today. I pray for the path to true love be opened for you, blazing in all its youthful glory," Gai says passionately, his eyes pouring with tears before skipping off to a sunset filled with rainbows, unicorns, squirrel shaped clouds and falling acorns.

"Huh?" Tenten stared out in utter confusion. She half turned towards Neji's direction and asked, "What was that –"

But she was interrupted by a gentle hug – from none other than Neji Hyuga.

"Uh … um … " she stuttered, her mouth gaping uselessly.

"I should have probably told you sooner but I guess it probably wouldn't have changed anything," Neji smiled at her wryly.

"Buh … wuh … huh?"

"Let me know when your preferences change, I'll be waiting."

And with that, Neji left.

"What in the world?" Tenten voiced out loud.

She shook her head, her thoughts in a complete jumble as to what had just happened.

"Okay, now's probably not the time to worry about that. I should probably check out what this mission is first."

Carefully opening the manila folder she received, she perused over the formal documents with anticipation. She blinked.

"_Huh? The target's female? But I'm …"_

And then it clicked.

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"… _I thought that you were … well … that your preferences were towards … ugh … that you would rather not partake in that sort of missions …"_

"… _we will be with you, supporting you right throughout this mission. And of course, even after the mission."_

"_We should never have assumed what your preferences are. You will always be our precious and beautiful flower. Nothing has changed even with this new knowledge. Worry not, we respect you the way you are."_

"… _may your blooming youth heal all the broken hearts that have been broken today …"_

"_Let me know when your preferences change, I'll be waiting."_

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"Oh Kami," she whispered to herself, her face going pale and then going red at the realisation.

"I'm an idiot! An idiot! Oh Kami I'm an idiot!" She muttered as a mantra whilst hitting her head on the conveniently place wall. "And Kami, Neji must think … Neji …"

She paused at the thought, her head in mid momentum.

And then her eyes lit up.

'_Well …' she smirked, 'he did say he'll be waiting. I guess it wouldn't hurt to tease him a little now, would it? I think a visit to Ino is in order. Oh the possibilities …'_

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_/END/  
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><p><em><strong>AN: I just wanted to make one big thing clear. I've got nothing against homosexuality and this story was not meant to offend. It's designed to be humorous and not to take the piss on anyone's beliefs or sexuality. I honestly hope that no one is offended.**_

_**A/N 2: In this case, I've made Gai-sensei as a part of their team. Yes, he is still their sensei, but now they are all jonins (heck, they've all been to ANBU but figured it wasn't for them), doing a mission together for old times sake. Just try and put it in this context. **_

_****A/N 3: I have lost my muse. :( If there's any of you out there who was reading Young Love ... I'm really sorry for the delay. I will continue it but it will take a while.  
><strong>**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**morphy-chan 3:D  
><strong>_


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